This blog is dedicated to the cause of ending sexual abuse and shaming in the Mormon church. Currently, it is common practice for Mormon bishops to ask questions of a sexual nature to Mormon individuals from the age of 12. There is an emphasis on questions regarding the issue of masturbation, or self-abuse as the church has labelled it. The practice of conducting these interviews alone with an individual behind a closed door is prevalent in the Mormon church and needs to be stopped immediately for the protection of individuals, as well as Mormon bishops.
The intended purpose of this blog is not to shame the Mormon church. It is to bring attention to the severity of the issue and the need to address it immediately. Countless people have already been emotionally and mentally hurt by this practice and this blog is here to give a voice to those who need it.
It is not enough to allow members to opt-out or have a parent or guardian present during these interviews. Mormon bishops should never be allowed to ask sexually invasive question to a member of any age. Help us stop this practice by sharing your story and/or support for the initiative here. This blog is a work-in-progress. We are now in the beginning stages of something that could help initiate drastic changes in the ecclesiastical processes practiced by lay leaders and reduce the risk of sexual-abuse in the Mormon church.
If you would like to share your story or support here you can email me at: sarahgwyneth001@gmail.com *Stories will not be edited or censored (unless permission is given by the author), however, they may not be posted if the content is too explicit, hostile, or you are presumed to be a troll.*
A petition has been started for another issue that directly goes hand-in-hand with this one–requiring background checks for church leaders and volunteers. To sign the petition click on the link below:
I chose to use this picture from the church website, because it only takes one negative experience to have a lasting impact. This is exactly what we are trying to stop here. We want to eliminate all exposure to sexual shaming.
Don't Ask, Don't Tell 
Thanks for going to the trouble of setting up this site for such an important subject (among Mormons, anyway). I doubt that this is even touched on in such detail in the Handbook. (For those less familiar with it, the Handbook has overtaken the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the D&C, Pearl of Great Price, Journal of Discourses, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, and B.H. Roberts’ History of the Church as a form of Sacred Instruction from the Lord, yeah, even Jesus Christ Himself.) But bishops and other leaders tend to over-think, and those lacking better heads on their shoulders will go where they should not go. Many among them also have a perverted side, a need to explore what a young girl or a young boys. Some of the men are in bad marriages, and this is an outlet for them. Some are bullies, and need to control people and make them do what they would never do intentionally. Some are just stupid. Some are good men who are perpetuating a bad habit. All of the above also goes for stake presidents, although personally, I have far less sympathy for the stake presidents on the whole.
The real problem lies in the fact that, whatever the kind of bishop or stake president, no matter how bad, how unskilled, how bullying, how incorrect, how perverted, or how stupid, all are supported by their superior leaders who line up in lock-step, protecting them. Many superior leaders have even played the Roman Catholic game of shuffling around the perverts so that their actions can be hidden. When a person is offended–even grievously so–they usually have no recourse and are often shunned and hounded.
These are among several reasons for which people do not respect Mormons.
LikeLike
Sorry to backspace over some of my info. Shoulda read: “Many among them also have a perverted side, a need to explore what a young girl or a young boy does in private.”
LikeLike
It sounds like your asking for stories about poor interviews. If so, here’s mine. I was 12 years old going in for my priesthood ordination interview. At 12 years old I was asked if I was sexually “messing around with girls, messing around with boys, messing around with myself, or messing around with animals”. Needless to say I had no idea I could mess around with myself, animals, or boys. All I thought was, “you can do weird, sexual things to animals? What is he talking about?”.
I lived in Suburbia, Utah (not a rural area where I’ve heard bestiality can be a problem). I don’t know what experiences that bishop had to ask me that question but I thought it was awful. Also, it made me wonder about how I could start “messing around with myself”. I didn’t figure that one out until older scouts told me at scout camp.
Later, I had a positive experience when I recalled repressed memories of sexual abuse. I spoke with my new bishop about the shame and depression I was feeling. He was also a victim and gave wonderful support and advice. I’m relieved I didn’t have to talk to the bishop who was concerned with bestiality. I got lucky.
LikeLike
In 1977 I was a 33 year old bishop in a large ward. Even if I was asked (called) I would not do it again, for several reasons but primarily because I would never agree to interview a minor alone or allow a counselor to do one-on-one interviews–but some context of the time.
During the time I was bishop we received instructions about questions we were to ask adults in TR interviews about their sexual practices and history that I refused to ask. There were instances where adults went to the stake president for an interview after I signed their recommends and they walked out on the stake president when he started to asked the questions about sexual behaviors. I do not know for sure who gave the directions to the stake president (other than a visiting authority) but all the bishops in the stake were called to a special meeting and instructed on the forms of sexual behavior we were to ask about.
We received similar direction from S. Dillworth Young, President of the First Quorum of the Seventy at the time, of discussions we were to have with young people about some pretty bizarre sexual stuff. I had decided I was not going to go there but one of my counselors thought that since it was direction from a GA ….. After an initial discussion there was one father who, if he had been able to get to the church before he managed to calm down a bit, might well have killed us.
I’m also aware of an instance where a young woman accused the bishop of sexual assault in a one-on-one situation and destroyed his life. Years later she confessed she had made the story up to deflect her parents suspicion that she was having sex with her boyfriend, which was true.
I will say by the time I was released in 1982, we were being told to stick to the approved list of questions and if people confessed what they thought was a sexual impropriety we were to avoid asking protracted questions or probing for details.
That said, if an adult chooses to have one-on-one worthiness interviews with a church leader, that’s their choice but no church leader should ever have one-on-one interviews with a minor under any conditions, IMHO.
LikeLike
I was a newly married 19 year old in the late 70s. My bishop asked me if I had oral sex with my husband. I had no idea what that was so I blushed and stammered. He signed my temple recommend after I asked him what he meant. I laugh at that now.
But our family was nearly devastated by an over zealous bishop. My teen was subjected to an hour interview about his sexuality. We parents were not notified. Said teen was told to go to LDS Social Services and seek sex councilling . By the time I knew what was going on, my teen was going to be reported to the state as a sex offender! I refused to talk to the counselor and told the bishop we would take care of the “problems.” Later we heard that the counselor was arrested for molesting children. My son is a dedicated husband and father to three beautiful children. He has a PhD in genetics. I shudder to think of what could have happened.
LikeLike
This is absolutely true: “Mormon bishops should never be allowed to ask sexually invasive question to a member of any age.”
You all are smart to reach out to one another for support!
David Clohessy, SNAP, Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, SNAPclohessy@aol.com, SNAPnetwork.org 314 566 9790
LikeLike